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Each
gag line listed below indicates a Quigmans recycled by
Buddy in 1998.
Captions in red indicate joke originally
written by Mike Stanfill
1998
results: Buddy reused 67 old Quigmans, or about 21%. |
January
10: Great Vehicles of the American Theatre.
January 13: After-hours club for scientists.
January 17: Close-knit family.(sheep
joke) (Next used 8-14-05)
January 24: Sideshow slideshow.
January 30: Intestine-shaped pool. |
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February 14:
Deja Vu Master.
February 16: Olga had developed her prefontal
lobes.
February 25: "Why, Miss Johnson!
Without your glasses you're beautiful!"
February 26: "You can't be too careful.
That's why I had the twins laminated."
February 27: Buddy turns 40. February
27, 1998. No joke. |
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March
2: Bob's problems can be traced to his childhood Insecurity
Blanket. (Later re-used 12-17-03)
March 3: Bored with frosted hairdos,
Kimberly had her tips freeze-dried.
March 17: "I'm leaving the circus
and running away with a CPA firm."
March 26: Tip monger.
March 28: "For the next ten minutes it's all you can read." |
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April
2: Bob has an amazing photographic memory. (Later
re-used 9-5-06)
April 7: "Honey! My old uniform!
It still fits!" (kindergarten reunion.)
April 11: "The Dressmaker Murders---there's always a pattern."
April 15: He: "You'e paying ME for the date?" She: "This
is hush money."
April 27:"I mortgaged the house
to leverage buy out the bank.." (11-13-03)
April 28: It was midnight and Bob feared not falling into the wrong
hands. |
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May
5: God to Jowles: "I proclaim you man's best friend."
May 11: "Hey, Baby Arnold. Tell
da guys about the time you drooled..."
May 14: Jane Goodall in the wilds of
Milwaukee: "The big male senses danger..."
May 19: Miss Manners attack dog: "May
I offer you a cocktail...?" (Last used 4-1-97. Next used 2-24-04)
May 25: Jowles marches to the beat of a dead drummer. (Next used 11-1-05)
May 30: "I don't care if you DID
take a vow of silence..." |
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June 9: "The dog
ate my homework, and chased it down with a sparkling chablis."
June 15: "Never look back...and you'll never see your cellulite
gaining on you." (First used 1-9-88) |
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July
6: City Limits sign.
July 15: The REAL reason the dinosaurs
went extinct.(Macdonald's joke)
July 20: "I also have a bed on my
wall and my bathroom is sideways!"
July 25: Days of Guns and Roses! |
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August
4:"Tell me, Chuckles, have you been seriousing around
behind my back?"
August 10: Sign on forehead: "Contents under pressure"
August 19: "My wife is suing me
for Palomino." (Used again on 10-6-05) |
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September
1: "You're holding your wine too tight! Let it breathe!"
September 12: Francine suddenly believed in reincarnation.
September 16: "We're gonna name
him cranky, beer-guzzling couch potato."
September 19: "...or you're gonna
be sleeping with the humans."
September 23: Organic balloons (worms).
September 24:"...we couldn't get
any sleep at the Drunken Screaming Relatives Motel." (Re-used
on 6-16-05)
September 28: A Visit with Charles Manson - "Hey, guard! check
it out, man. I got Web Site of the Week again!" (later re-used
5-5-04) |
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October 3: "I
don't wanna buy her...she just got in my way."
October 6: Tragically, Bob's lazy eye soon spread to the rest of
his face. Doctor - "You've got lazy face, Bob." (
used again 2-20-99, 2-22-06)
October 8: "Remember class, we should never make fun of others..."
3October 9: Two flies - "Hey, Herbie ... I think I stepped in
something." (szyszka) (later
re-used 3-23-04)
October 12: When weathermen kiss and
tell. (first appeared 12-28-87, later re-used 5-4-04)
October
13:
Nosferatu Massage - "Another lawsuit. Perhaps I should rethink
my choice of vocation." (later re-used 1-31-04)
October 14: "Well, no wonder,
Bob! You have the tape in upside down!"
October 16: At the beach, Bob discovered that two thongs don't make
a right. (later re-used 12-3-03)
October 17: Cop
at party - "I'm going to let you off with a warning this
time, but from here on in, try to keep your conversation to a pretentious
level." (later re-used 3-9-06) |
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November 3:
Yuppie Bedtime Stories, 1998. (Last used 8-13-96, used again 1-15-03)
November 4: "Nothing like the flea and tick season, eh, Bob?" (Last
appeared 11-21-87, later re-used 4-25-02)
November 6: (cat)"...I think it's time for a dead mouse-flavored
cat food!" (Used again 2-24-05)
November 9: The Flounder Funeral Home.
November 11: "...it's so cute the way they eat right out of
your hand." (last re-used 3-24-04)
November 12: Lyin' Country Safari. "Come
out. We won't eat you." (used again 3-17-04)
November 13: ...another senseless carjackings: "Take this car
to Cuba, man!"
November 16: Channel 9 News. "...this just in."
November 23: "I always wanted to meet one of you centerfold
gals."
(later re-used 10-8-03, 11-21-08)
November 24: "You're right, Doc.
Worst case of plaque I've ever seen."(Stanfill) (later
re-used 12-13-04, 1-30-09)
Novermber 25: "So, remember, fashion freaks, animal prints
are OUT this year, and solids are in, in, in!" (Szyszka) (Later
re-used 5-15-04)
Novemebr 26: (All-chicken courtroom) "Is it not true, Mr.
Cluckston, that when the waiter heimliched you, you coughed up a
chicken bone?" (later
re-used 9-16-04)
November 28: Corporate Superheroes - Rubber
Budget Man, Cubicle Woman, The Invisible Expenditure. (Later re-used 10-11-03)
November 30: "You might say old Bob is just a drifter." (later
re-used 9-28-00) |
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December
2: Beach Blanket Godzilla.
December 3: "I've lost 30 pounds of ugly fat."
December 5: "Looks like your face has broken out again, Bob."
December 7: Adventures of the slow waitress.
(Later re-used 1-9-01)
December 8: "What
do you think of my cake? It's based on a novel by Stephen King!" (Stanfill) (first
appeared 8-21-87, later re-used 3-12-04, 10-31-09)
December 9: Teenage Ninja Poodles. (Last appeared
2-26-93)
December 10: Dog doctor - "Your tests look good, but I'm keeping
you here for a few days, 'cause your nose is warm." (later re-used
10-14-03, 7-19-07)
December 11: Repossessive mother.
December 15: Ninja Kum Poop.
December 16: "Don't be afraid. It's
report is worse than its impact!"
December 17: Apples - "Happy anniversary,
honey!" "Uh.. don't you think gettin' me a juicer is just
a little on the passive-aggressive side?" (szyszka) (later
re-used 3-2-04)
December 18: "Hey! What are you doing to my yard, you moron?" "Well,
I been a career garbage man for some 20-odd years. i just figured
it was time to give somethin' back." (later
re-used 2-4-04 and 12-24-08)
December 22: "I TOLD you not to
sleep by that cyclone fence!"
December 23: Rupture, a game. (Later re-used 1-27-04)
December 26: Postman Toasties.
December 28: Frank was getting tired of sleeping next to a woman
in curlers.
December 29: Medusa--"My hair's
shedding and I can't do a thing with it!" (Last appeared 12-26-87)
December 31: "Holy cow! It's a bundt!" (Later re-sued 6-13-05) |
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